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 Post subject: Writing About Writing...
PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 2:41 am 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
The stories “Footnote” and “Travels With Uncle Ahmed”

“Footnote” of course is the story of the 8th Arkab Legion and its participation in the Battle of Luthien. The unit is not large enough to singularly effect the battle but may earn mention in a historical footnote in subsequent written reports and records.
This particular story is ongoing as I fight out the scenarios from week to week (or whenever, depending on my schedule) as played in tabletop battles on the ground as well as in the air. How it will ultimately end is up to chance –they could suddenly be sent to the rear for rest and refit before the fighting ends, they may be thrown into a meat grinder and told to die without giving an inch of ground. Between these extremes, I rely on the quality of the unit’s personnel and equipment, and my ability to squeeze the most I can from them.

Between scenarios, I’ve included glimpses of the commander, Mohammed As`Zaman Bey, in his earlier days, before he founded his command as well as certain key members of the 8th Arkab.

“Travels With Uncle Ahmed” was partially inspired by Medron Pryde’s alternate BT universe. There is some background information on the Azami Confederation and the Arkab Legions but I wanted to flesh out the culture and character of the Arkab people in general and the Azami in particular.
To do this I chose to use Mohammed Bey’s large, extended family to give outsiders a view of a hidden world that they could only speculate about.

Uncle Ahmed is the mentor whose duty is to show the young Mohammed the true source of his people’s wealth and power –A network of underground industry unseen by outsiders. Uncle Ahmed is just one of countless scavengers who glean the universe’s battlefields and junk heaps for what jewels they might surrender –All for the survival of their people and the wealth of their respective clans.

Putting it all in perspective…
When I first generated the MW2 character Mohammed As`Zaman Bey, he was a fairly simple, straightforward character –a green recruit looking for fame and fortune. He was a landed noble with a good reputation among his people. I never really delved deeply into the character's background until he was asked to tap into his Azami connections to obtain recruits and equipment. From then, I began making notes for “Travels,” where the readers would get a glimpse of how Mohammed and his fellow mechwarriors meet, train and evolve as characters. Eventually it all ties together in “Footnote.”

As a relatively literate person, I try to see in my mind’s eye the interplay between characters and then attempt to put it on paper in a way that they come alive for the reader. I don’t underscore the fact that in 3036 Mohammed Bey was 15 years old while Rachel Benhaddad was 14.
In Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” the famous pair were 16 and 13 respectively.
In my favorite play, Edmund Rostand’s “Cyrano de Bergerac,” imagine, if you will, that the real Cyrano (Yes, he was a real person) was a lad of 19 while Roxanne was 17. Movies just can’t do the original plays justice –younger actors just aren’t good enough.

In the three dimensional world that is being painted around Mohammed Bey, he walks a strange tightrope. Despite the egalitarian nature of the Sun Tzu School of Combat, he is still very class conscious. Despite the liberal environment, he is basically conservative in nature and upbringing. Like many of his ethnic background, he is a focused academic overachiever. Given his Victorian nature, I made Mohammed an intellectual hero like those from the plays of George Bernard Shaw, with Victorian flaws. One major flaw is As`Zaman’s focus on his studies which affects his social interaction –He has little use for people and activities outside of his studies or personal interests and could be a little dense at times when people are talking at a different wavelength.
Like the people around him, young Mohammed is growing and changing, slowly defining himself as an individual.
In “Footnote,” you see As`Zaman at what may be the height of his career. He has his own unit, equipped and trained as best as he is able to provide, locked in combat with an enemy in the most significant battle in centuries. Whether he and his unit survives or is annihilated is still in the balance.

For my fellow writers, I'd like to compare notes on the basics of fiction writing, such as what inspiration is used, what experiences or people the characters are based upon and how you combine them to produce a story based in the Battletech universe.

Cheers,

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 3:51 am 
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Loki
Loki

Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2001 8:00 pm
Posts: 11444
Location: Minnesnowta
I try not to copy my stuff off anything as it can frag things up in the future if someone wants to steal it from you.

A rather hard lesson I've learned.

Anyways, as for characters, most characters I write have a piece of me in them. They are originally designed to do one or two things, but as I write about them they branch out. This is an organic process that I'm usually not aware of consciously. After a time, my characters become real, true, breathing characters of their own that start telling ME what they want to do next.

More than one story I've been writing has been turned on its ear because some character said "I want to to this" and I had to listen because to do anything else would be to violate the tenents of a character that had come into being the old fashioned way. By growing. If they die while maintaining their character, then I consider that to be a good thing. Once a character has grown to the point that said character has enough of...oh...whatever you call it. When the character can stand up and say he or she would rather die than let something happen, that is when that character makes that stand. Some characters survive that. Some don't.

Either way, my characters grow as I write them and spent time fleshing them out. They are what they become. Other than the first basic ideas, I let their experiences make them what they become. What they live through is what decides what they are. How they react to that is key. My characters are grown organically as time passes.

And yes...I DO hear voices inside my head. And sometimes, I talk back... :wink:

_________________
Medron Pryde - The Great and Terrible :blah:
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2004 6:32 am 
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Wobblie Scum
Wobblie Scum

Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2002 8:00 pm
Posts: 1731
Location: Temple of Toaster Worship
I know I'm doing something right when reviewers complain that the characters are not being badass enough! :lol:

One of the biggest problems in writing and charaterization is to avoid the 'perfect' character(Mary Sue) who never gets anything wrong. I try to make my characters always slightly confused, often impatient, whiney, or just plain oblivious. It helps when they get beaten up every few chapters to avoid the invincibility aura effect. I've lost count of the number of times Frank Meronac has gotten whacked. He must hold the record for a fanfic main character! :crazy:

Also, a very useful exercise is to put the character into a social setting, and plot out their reactions. Are they extroverts? Introverts? Logical? Intuitive? Perceptive? Judgemental? What are their real personal flaws? Their blindspots? Irrational loyalties?

TWG

_________________
The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you miserable.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 7:56 pm 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
Just a note on the scenario that closed "Footnote:"

The battle was played on a 72"x 48" tabletop.
The Valley was a gradual slope up to 9 levels. Level 0 was the floor of the valley (West), level 9 was almost the top of the valley (East).
Defenders were on levels 4 and 5. The mansion on level 4, the mansion itself was 3 levels high with 2 levels of basement.

Surrounding the mansion was a border of light woods that formed a wedge about 10" wide (South) to a point about 30" across the table (North). The road began near the NW corner and ran up the valley, turning SE when it met the tip of the wedge of woods.

Defenders:
8th Arkab
4 x Marauders (Uptech)
Zamarah 1/1
Essarhad 2/2
Sanbalat 3/3
Nebuzardan 2/2
2 x Victors (Uptech)
Bahar 0/1
Al-Athir 1/1

2nd Sword of Light
3 x Panther 9R
1 x Panther 10K
2 x Whitworth 1
All pilots 3/3

Tsukude Provisional Training Cadre
4 x Tokugawa Hvy Tanks
All Pilots 4/4

First Wave: Turn 1
Ice Ferret Prime 2/4
Ice Ferret Prime 3/3
Ice Ferret C 3/4
Viper Prime 2/3
Viper A 2/3

Second Wave: Turn 5
Viper Prime 4/4
Timber Wolf A 2/2
Hellbringer Prime 3/3
Hellbringer A 3/3
Summoner D 2/4

Third Wave: Turn 10
Mad Dog A 3/2
Mad Dog B 1/2
Timber Wolf A 2/2
Gargoyle B 0/1
Dire Wolf Prime 1/2

Played out, the scenario took 17 turns over 5 hours.

My dice were particularly bloodthirsty and Vai Dom witnessed my ability to roll boxcars -Obviously the warranty on his omnis ran out the week before.

This battle had the feel of one of those "Successive Wave" training scenarios in the "Mechwarrior" computer games. The defenders had the benefits of position and cover but were slowly worn down, forcing them to give ground during the last wave.
Because this was a campaign and losses affect future battles, I had to give ground.

If this were a single battle, I am certain that I could have taken the third wave but would have suffered losses- On turn 17 Al-Athir's Victor lost its right arm and AC20 -He would have been forced to pull back or be executing physical attacks. Two of the Marauders were in bad shape armor-wise.

The Tokugawas were untouched, their AC10s at medium range hit about 50% of the time. At spitting range they proved very useful.

The Maxim and Jump Infantry were at the mansion to begin the game but were very busy after the second wave.

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 10:10 pm 
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The Last Boy Scout
The Last Boy Scout

Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2001 8:00 pm
Posts: 9172
Location: Innsifil, Ont., Canada
You did well to give ground in the third wave. It what any of us would have & should do when playing in a campaign.

You cost the attacker more than you lost. All & all an excellent out come. I wish you good luck in your future battles Mohammed As `Zaman Bey.

_________________
General Brett "Hitman" Coote S.L.M.H., P.H. w/9 Clusters, S.S.B.
S.L.A.F. (Retired)
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 2:02 am 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
Commentary on the Kadoguchi Valley ambush

Tabletop: 54" N to S, 72" E to W
Terrain: Flat, Broken up with medium areas of light and heavy woods about 8"-12" across.
Situation: Fleeing units set up 18" from the South edge, heading North. Ambush elements set up to 18" from the North edge.

Smoke Jaguar units start on South edge.

Fleeing units:
Lance 1: Mongoose, 2 x Hussar, Lightning Hover, Lightning Hover;
Lance 2: Hussar, 2 x Mercury, 2 x Assassin;
Lance 3: Mongoose, (Kevin) 4 x Scimitar, 2 x Saracen, Saladin, Maxim, Gabriel.

Ambush:
Lance 4: 2 x Crab27, 2x Crab20
Lance 5: 2 x Crab27, Dragon
(Kevin) Lance 6: (Other vehicles that I can't recall but did not have much effect on the scenario)
Other: 2 x Maxim, 2 x Jump Inf squads, Guided Missile Team

Smoke Jaguar:
(VaiDom) Command Star: Vulture C, Vulture B?, Stormcrow ?, ? , ? (Mechs/Variants not seen or identified)
(Kalei) Center Star: 2 x Koshi, Dasher, Hankyu, Ryoken?
(Wellington) West Star: 2 x Koshi Prime, Grendal D, Hankyu C, Stormcrow A.

Turn 1: Fleeing units move at full speed, trying to put wood/terrain between them and the enemy with some success. The Command star moves into light woods. The Center star enters heavy woods with a Koshi and Dasher, the others skirt the woods, trying to get shots at the fleeing units. The West star turns and takes a circuitous route, removing the star from combat for 2 turns.

Turn 2: Fleeing units slow to a walk to allow SJ elements to keep up. There is long range fire to no effect.

Turn 3: From the Northeast woods a missile emerges, moving slowly across the clearing, heading to the Koshi at the edge of the woodline. The center star's other Koshi sprints to the center of the map, very much alone. The Crabs and Dragon appear from hiding, ranges are between 12-14". The Koshi falls, managing to nick the Dragon here and there.
The wire-guided missile strikes the other Koshi, ripping its arm off (15 pts damage!).

Turn 4: The center star's Koshi retreats as another missile heads toward it. The Hankyu and Dasher close, stopping near the fallen Koshi. The West star reappears but only one omni has a clear shot. Its PPC bolt misses my Mongoose 8) .
The Hanyu is damaged in the exchange but stands, The Dasher is dropped.

Turn 5: Using the Arkab's snap-shot ability, the Hanku is dropped.

Turn 6: Game called and adjudicated. The West star runs headlong into a mass of waiting enemy. The remaining Center star elements easily pull away. The Command star emerges from the woods and attempts an extraction.
Quote:
I just played out the fight between the your Lance with the Dragon & two Crab27 plus the two Assassins on the flank, versus the Clan Striker Trinary's 2nd Star consisting of 2x Koshi-Primes, Grendal-D, Hankyu-C, & Stormcrow-A. It is ugly.
Not counting on anyother of your 'Mechs involved it came out like this:

1st Turn:
Both Koshi-Primes down from heavy fire and physicals from both Crab27's. The Arkab hit them from the rear.
The Stormcrow took heavy fire from the Dragon, and was then thrown down from
charge attack in the Physical attack. This fight was head-on and toe-to-toe.
Grendal-D and Hankyu-C took LRM fire from the Assassins in the rear.
All Arkab 'Mechs still up but Dragon has Left torso stripped of armour and heavy loss on the Left arm. All others lost between 10 to 18 points of armour. Assassins untouched.

2nd Turn:
Both Koshi-Primes try to rise and are finished-off by the Crab27's. After the energy weapons do their thing the Koshi's break-up under additional physical attacks. The Crab27's take an additional 12pts. of damage.
The Stormcrow gets up and exchanges fire with the Dragon. The Dragon takes 52pts.of damage, no criticals. The Stormcrows takes heavy damage in Left arm and Center torso. During physicals the Dragon takes off the Stormcrows Left arm with a punch from its left arm battlefist.
The Grendal and Hankyu turn to engage the Assassins. But the Arkab mechs have jumped back into the heavy woods, and out of sight.

3rd Turn:
The Crab27's and the two Assassins now move on to the Grendal and the Hankyu. The Hankyu comes apart under concentrated fire to its center torso from the front and back. The Crab27 takes 42pts. of damage. The Grendal too comes under heavy fire that takes off its Left torso. In the physical attack from the Crab27 causes it serious damage to its internal structure and apparently criticals too. But it is still standing. The Crab27 takes 33pts of damage from the Grendal. The Assassins are untouched.
The Stormcrow damages the Dragon for another 24pts from the Streak SRM packs in the torsos and 6pts from punch from its right arm to the Dragons torso. The Dragon fires and desintegrates the Stormcrows Right Torso and follows up with a punch from its battle fist again to the Stormcrows center torso, taking components with it while pulling the fist out. Smoke is seen to start venting from the various torso locations on the Stormcrow.

4th Turn:
The Grendal jumps away into the Heavy woods and escapes. The Assassins are not in a position to pursue.
In the exchange of fire between the Stormcrow and the Dragon is the end of that drama. The Dragon loses its PPC and takes two criticals on the center torso. Damage is 12pts. But the Stormcrow Left torso detonates from an internal explosion that causes the remaining Clan 'Mech to crash to the ground. The Dragon then kicks it causing additional damage.

On the other flank the Missile team scored hit upon a Vulture and a Stormcrow. Afterwhich the Missile Team retreated through the woods. No casualties here.

My curiousity and idle time caused a rather interesting 30minutes. You may want to use this outcome. Until Later; Best Wishes!!
After Action
The SJ stars never talked to each other during the battle until the last, when it was too late. The Center Star was commanded by the least experienced person. The SJ commanders were briefed to "Pursue and bring to battle" -That would be to pin or slow the fleeing units. I made a point to choose when and where I would fight.
Were these commanders fighting SJ style? Each understood their orders and had their own plan on how to carry them out.
We held an impromptu board of inquiry at a Zippy's restaurant with Zack (Clan Nova Cat) and Fred (Comstar) as neutral commentators...

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 7:50 am 
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Colonel
Colonel

Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 2:01 am
Posts: 483
Location: Near Great Lakes Naval Base
Im not much of a writter so i dont even try to pretend that i am. and almost all my characters have a part of me in them so i can identify with them. like my character that was in the outlaws and they decided to kill him. so my character stole money and left the unit before they could kill him and went to solaris. i wont tell you where that came from but it is part of my life. if I cant identify with a character and rely on making up stuff about them they dont seem real. almost all heros have some kind of faults, we all do so if you write about someone whos perfect it gets boring. i dont comment on alot of what you guys write because i dont know enough about the history of the game. but alot of it is very interesting to me.

_________________
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-------------------------------------------------------
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 10:11 pm 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
I had a bad gout attack as well as an arthritis flare up over the last couple of weeks and was on crutches until Sunday morning. I spent most of the time going over my notes and writing up my latest short story, "...the Compassionate, the Merciful..."

Sven Shamash is Mohammed Bey's cousin (one of many) and served as a Trinary commander (the Legion was proposed to be an OPFOR training unit with a goal of familiarizing units that have not faced the Clans with Clan tactics and fighting against superior equipment) in the 8th Arkab.

While playing out the Battle of Luthien, the GM handed me a list of damaged and destroyed mechs- Shamash and his Crab were among the casualties. Of course I was incredulous- there is nothing like losing one of your best pilots and a favorite mech (and I do like the Crab -wish I had more) to a roll of the GM's dice.

I busted out the Luthien Scenario book and ran a couple of scenarios on Megamek. Without their Edge (2), the Clanners are at a slight disadvantage so I modified the play to compensate. The first time I played the 1st Sword of Light vs Smoke Jaguar scenario the SOL won. The second time I played there were four badly damaged Clan omnis which provided the first four challenges. The results of playing one on one against the Crab are as written -The Man O' War was dropped by a head shot on turn four. The Mad Dog started the challenge with four rounds left, etc.

I pitted the Adder against a Grand Dragon before facing the Crab.

From now on, Shamash faces undamaged opponents...

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


Last edited by Mohammed As `Zaman Bey on Fri Oct 22, 2004 12:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:53 pm 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
...The Compassionate, the Merciful..."

The Nova fight was not expected. A floating crit to the center torso hit the engine and in the last turn the Crab dropped it by slagging its left torso, taking a shoulder crit in the ERLL arm.


How Close?
The Crab backed into heavy woods:
Quote:
Initiative Phase for Round #11
------------------------------
Azami rolls a 4.
Smoke Jaguar rolls a 6.

The turn order is:
Azami, Smoke Jaguar

Wind direction is Northwest

Movement Phase
-------------------
<nothing>

Weapon Attack Phase
-------------------

Weapons fire for Crab CRB-27Az (Azami)
ER PPC at Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar); needs 4, rolls 9 : hits HD
Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar) takes 10 damage to HD. Armor destroyed, 2 Internal Structure remaining
Critical hit on HD. Roll = 5; no effect.
Pilot of Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar) "Stephen" takes 1 damage.
Medium Laser at Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar); needs 8, rolls 9 : hits RA
Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar) takes 5 damage to RA. 1 Armor remaining

Weapons fire for Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar)
ER PPC at Crab CRB-27Az (Azami); needs 7, rolls 9 : hits RA
Crab CRB-27Az (Azami) takes 15 damage to RA. <<<SECTION DESTROYED>>>, 13 damage transfers to RT.
Critical hit on RA. Roll = 12;<<<LIMB BLOWN OFF>>> Right Arm blown off.
Crab CRB-27Az (Azami) takes 13 damage to RT. 3 Armor remaining
LB 5-X AC at Crab CRB-27Az (Azami); needs 6, rolls 7 : 2 shot(s) hit.
Crab CRB-27Az (Azami) takes 1 damage to LA. 6 Internal Structure remaining
Critical hit on LA. Roll = 7; no effect.
Crab CRB-27Az (Azami) takes 1 damage to RA. 1 damage transfers to RT.
Crab CRB-27Az (Azami) takes 1 damage to RT. 2 Armor remaining
SRM 6 at Crab CRB-27Az (Azami); needs 11, rolls 8 : misses.

Pilot of Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar) "Stephen" needs a 3 to stay concious. Rolls 6 : successful!

Physical Attack Phase
-------------------
<nothing>

Heat Phase
----------
Crab CRB-27Az (Azami) gains 24 heat, sinks 22 heat and is now at 2 heat.
Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar) gains 21 heat, sinks 21 heat and is now at 0 heat.


Resolving fire movement Pilot of Mad Dog A (Smoke Jaguar) "Stephen" needs a 3 to stay concious. Rolls 6 : successful!
To determine the first wave of damaged omnis, I used the Luthien Scenario book, Scenario 6. I played it out until a star's worth of omnis remained. I had to toss in the Adder from another scenario to make up the star but it worked out as mentioned in the previous post.

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 10:24 pm 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
The latest installment of "Travels With Uncle Ahmed" has a few of the main characters dining at a Terran-style hamburger place.
While at a post-gaming discussion in a local diner, Vai-Dom and I sat down and tried to imagine what an attempt at foreign 20th Century cuisine would be like in the 31st Century.

Imagine a noble from the 10th Century attending a feast at Medieval Times or any Renaissance Faire and eating modern interpretations of medieval food. Before the discovery of the new world, there was no coffee or potatoes or corn. Pepper was very exotic as were many other spices. Medieval European food tended to be fairly bland when compared to modern dishes.

Daimyo Burger was based on a friend's experience while teaching in Japan. He ate hibachi-cooked pizza and the school kitchen deep-fried their hamburger patties. I HAD to use this story somewhere because it sounded so bizzare. Through the eyes of teens on a night out, they would freely comment on something as "foreign" food, comparing their meals to what they might be familiar with.

Oh yeah, there will be more... 8)

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 8:55 am 
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Warrant Officer
Warrant Officer

Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2004 11:27 am
Posts: 94
Thus far I have only posted my 'Another Way' fanfic on CBT. It is my first effort, and I don't expect the existing four parts to be as polished as the efforts of more experienced fanfic writers.
The basic premise that I am working on is that there is a story that I want to tell. Even before I started writing the first part there were certain events that I had decided must happen. There is room within the story arc for some character evolution, but basically I have waypoints that I want to hit and the character development is designed to make those point easier to hit.
Up till now I have not had any fights to simulate, so no element of chance has entered my stories, maybe it will someday, but the fights have to fit the story arc that I already have plotted in my mind.
Some of my characters are based loosly, very loosly, on my friends and family. Other characters are introduced to provide the impetus for my main character to achieve one of my pre-set goals. I admit that this style my limit the overall lifespan of my story, but the story will end when it is done and I will not keep it on life support.

_________________
"Peace through superior Firepower."
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 3:09 am 
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Loki
Loki

Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2001 8:00 pm
Posts: 11444
Location: Minnesnowta
I tend to write stories about characters and let them choose what they are going to do next.

It sometimes makes things happen that I don't expect, but I like the stories that come out of it. I have basic plans for what I want to have happen, and then let the characters make there way through those ideas. Sometimes they just tell me, in no uncertain terms mind you, that they are NOT going to do what I want them to do...

When that happens, I just shrug and let them do whatever they want to do and see what I can do to make the story work. It usually doesn't take much, but on some occasions I've had to do some fairly major surgery to get it to work out.

:crazy:

_________________
Medron Pryde - The Great and Terrible :blah:
[img]http://faileas.greywolf.googlepages.com/WOTD.png[/img]
[url=http://www.pryderockindustries.com]P.R.I.[/url] - The home of BattleTech programs and files
"I'm gonna Tea Party like its 1776." - Medron Pryde
Who is John Galt?


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 3:24 am 
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Test Pilot
Test Pilot

Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2002 8:00 pm
Posts: 12373
Location: That flattop, up the well, overhead …
Wow.

That's how you can tell You Are Quality.

Man.

:thumbsup:

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"He closes his eyes and remembers the night splattered with brightness, the sudden flare of erupting fuel, the mad chase as, supersonic, he bobbed and weaved among the hills and valleys of the Ozarks, the laws on his tail, burning for home …"


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 7:30 pm 
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General Loose Cannon
General Loose Cannon

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2003 11:37 pm
Posts: 8411
Location: Motown
I know what you mean Medron. Tunnel Rat was never intended to achive the prominace she has Nightengale on the other hand has not developed as much as I envisioned. I have found a lot of strange turns in my writing like the Psycho jumping the wall thing ...or for that matter the first time TR took the mech out....both just kind of happened....Occurs a lot

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 2:18 am 
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Loki
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It's just a case of giving your credit one or two traits that you want them to have. Then letting them grow over time as they go through experiences. After a while of writing them, they develope a life of their own and start telling you what they want to do.

And you had BETTER listen or they get rather annoyed with you...;-)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 3:16 am 
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I'll echo some of the other comments here- to make a main character "interesting" you really have to put them through some kind of hell-and they don't always have to win.

Generally, my main characters have something wrong with them on a fundamental level-something that either they deny is a problem (Drug addiction, insanity), is utterly incurable (I have one right now who's got no option but to die horribly-and I made sure it was going to be a horrible and agonizing death), or sets them up for a major stomping/fall from grace.

Then again, I also munch out pretty badly-though I try to "Keep it consistent" by requiring huge quantities of manpower and/or money to accomplish anything (then taking it away or making it less-than-promised at a bad moment.)

Readers don't like to be cheated, but "Cheating" main characters can make for interesting stories. {"wow! we found a Star League cache! What's inside?" (rummages for several hours, lots of exposition, lots of character interplay), "Dammit, it's a Storehouse, alrighty- Six billion individually wrapped, Star-League Defense Force Issue Condoms!"}

Unabashed munchiness isn't that big a deal-if you find some way to compensate, or if you're going to make it costly.

The hard part, is that the longer you write a fanfic in a setting, the more attatched you get to it-and the more work you have to do when you decide it's time to kill it-one of the best things Muhammed has done, is to keep his stories "Inside the lines"-it's a lot easier for him to leave his main characters with a happy ending than it is when the characters, settings, and other items are created whole-cloth using only a couple words.

The Ngo family started out as villains, did you know that? Yeah... Villains.

They've been a real pain in the ass to wipe out, too.

Neat thing about that (since I'm going to brag...) is that so far, not a single one has died gloriously.

Elizabeth (the first) died of a brain anyeurism.
Amanda- overdosed under mysterious circumstances...
Elizabeth (the second) had her head blown right off by her mother's enemies.
Sharon has a chance at dying "Gloriously", but I'm toying with letting her slowly rot in agony as her disease overcomes efforts to treat it.
Carrie's going to die in an embarassing and/or inglorious way, I just haven't decided how, and so-on.

Everything they worked for is going to be destroyed, I'm just working on how-this is payment for "Munchiness" in fanficland- no happy endings, no great and lasting change.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 3:25 am 
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General Loose Cannon
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Quote:
It's just a case of giving your credit one or two traits that you want them to have. Then letting them grow over time as they go through experiences. After a while of writing them, they develope a life of their own and start telling you what they want to do.

And you had BETTER listen or they get rather annoyed with you...;-)
Aff strange as it sounds ...it is true you can imagine these characters actualy telling you what they are going to do and you find yourself following along with they want....I know it sounds strange but that is how it is.

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 Post subject: Travels With Uncle Ahmed
PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 10:04 am 
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for those of you who hav been wondering where the story line is headed... Mohammed is looking forward to graduation and hopefully a n assignment to active duty. That's months away, of course so anything can happen.
In that time I'm letting the readers look at a backwater Draconis Combine world through the eyes of semi-outsiders:

The Combine only resembles feudal Japan at certain levels.

Agriculture is still very vital in feeding the masses -You won't see "Star Trek" style food replicators cranking out T-bone steaks at the push of a button.

I imagine the Azami celebrating Ramadan but would the Combine celebrate Christmas the way the Japanese have adopted it? What about Golden Week?

These are things I've pondered over the months while fleshing out the main characters of the story.

The non-Azami students attending Sun Tzu includes "common" Kurita citizens as well as Okinawans, Koreans and Kurita loyalist Scandanavians who fled Rasalhague. These people won't have too much difficulty accepting outsiders since they are in a culture that looks upon them as outsiders.

I may begin the "Running With the Pride" story line this month (I have over 10 game years' worth of notes) where Mohammed joins a mercenary unit (as viewed through occasional flashbacks in "Footnote").

What happens after "Footnote"? I still have to find out...

Mohammed Bey

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 11:32 pm 
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Some of the stuff I've come up with has been based on other stuff I've read by other authors - Sybil's the result of reading a lot of David Weber, a lot of David Brin, and a wee bit of the show "Andromeda" as well. Sometimes I'm just wondering how a certain concept I've seen at work in another setting would end up playing out in the BattleTech universe. Other times, I read something, don't find it quite as believable as I'd like, so I end up adapting it using the familiar Battletech setting (I've been playing since '89), which tends to be a lot more realistic than a lot of other sci-fi/sci-fantasy settings.

Other times, I end up taking something that happened in one of the games I was in, and expanding it out, or continuing the story after the game ended. One story I'm working on, about a former Com Guard pilot named Thomas Takeda, is a perfect example of that. Here's a character who, when I started playing him, was a veteran of Tukkayid, had been an elite pilot in a special forces unit driving bleeding edge 'mechs, assigned to Operation Bird Dog. In game time, his unit ended up on-world for nearly 18 months without relief (real time, the campaign lasted about as long), and, in that time, he was the only character to last the entire campaign. He ended up leaving the service after a disasterous city fight in St. Ives space post-Bird Dog, where a couple thousand died because of his actions (he caused a 'mech to essentially Stackpole next to an apartment building). The campaign ended around that point, but, over the past few years, I've always wondered, "What would have happened to Thomas after that? When the Jihad came, would he end up leaving the monastary he went to and pick up arms again?" While that campaign might be over, writing is a way to continue his story.

A lot of my characters have a bit of me in them - I actually consider it one of my limitations as a writer. That's one of the things I'm trying to do with my current stories - learn how to write from a completely foreign perspective better.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 4:11 am 
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Loki
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Quote:
Quote:
It's just a case of giving your credit one or two traits that you want them to have. Then letting them grow over time as they go through experiences. After a while of writing them, they develope a life of their own and start telling you what they want to do.

And you had BETTER listen or they get rather annoyed with you...;-)
Aff strange as it sounds ...it is true you can imagine these characters actualy telling you what they are going to do and you find yourself following along with they want....I know it sounds strange but that is how it is.
Imagine? Hey, I tell you boy, they DO talk. And they can throw a REAL hard mental punch when I ignore them too! And the conversations? Man, I can talk to them for hours!

;-)

_________________
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 8:22 pm 
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I generally write when inspired so far Cannonshop and I have been working on the Ngo cycle so I am able to feed off of that. Heck I had the theatre margrave assassinated...but I try to fit the character into the story initially then see what happens as choices are made. (I'm the character continuity guy... :wink: )

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 12:11 am 
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General Loose Cannon
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
It's just a case of giving your credit one or two traits that you want them to have. Then letting them grow over time as they go through experiences. After a while of writing them, they develope a life of their own and start telling you what they want to do.

And you had BETTER listen or they get rather annoyed with you...;-)
Aff strange as it sounds ...it is true you can imagine these characters actualy telling you what they are going to do and you find yourself following along with they want....I know it sounds strange but that is how it is.
Imagine? Hey, I tell you boy, they DO talk. And they can throw a REAL hard mental punch when I ignore them too! And the conversations? Man, I can talk to them for hours!

;-)
And the kids can REALLY be a handfull quiaff

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 Post subject: Dream Sequence...
PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 6:14 pm 
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In the latest instalment of "Travels With Uncle Ahmed" I included a surreal dream (Of course, Benhaddad had a nightmare but that was different...) that served a a guide for Mohammed Bey to follow.
When I was stationed in Germany (US Army, 1981-83) I would have the most vivid dreams of battles, from ancient times through the dark Ages, to WW2. I would be standing in the middle of raging battles where lines of muskets and pikes fought desperately. I saw Romans and Teutons, struggling in mortal combat in one dream as well as machine guns and self-propelled guns blasting away at approaching Allied troops in another. I was there!
I also would meet various people in my dreams and converse with them over deep philosophical matters as well as trivial subjects, such as good places to eat.

I remember standing among roaring cannon, observing the formations of Swedish pikemen as they slaughtered a Moravian mercenary unit who acted as the Forlorn Hope.

I saw the retreating remnants of Volkssturm units as they failed to stem the tide of Patton's soldiers.

I stood in the midst of a burning village as Roman soldiers put all to the sword, including women and children.

I was there!

Yeah, there will be more... 8)

_________________
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 6:08 pm 
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Some comments on "Forging the Sword":

Okay, the 8th Arkab is still on Luthien, waiting further orders. The unit has received 14 new mechwarriors, very green...

The jump infantry scenario was played out using some modified BattleTroops rules (we call them BattleTroops3000) and I'll be writing up more as we play them out. Right now, we're experimenting with using MW3 combat rules with a few tweaks to allow infantry vs vehicles and mechs plausable. We're playing with 1/72nd scale figures and I plan to chop up some WH40K figs to make Elementals... 8)

The 8th Arkab Legion's infantry assets were hired from units broken by the Clans and had retreated to the Rasalhague system of Satalice which served as a staging area for the 8th early in the invasion. The 8th Arkab has one company of Jump Infantry, one company of Antimech Infantry and a company of Marines, all veterans.

Your comments are appreciated.

MB

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[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2005 6:43 am 
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Letters and Notes...

It was my aim to give the readers both a glimpse of the Azami mindset as well as a view of Kurita commercialism... The forces that defended Luthien would be very high-profile on a world with 7 billion thankful people and hero-dazzled children. Models, holovids, action figures and countless other items to profit from.
The Sho-sa is a stickler for details, especially where his unit is concerned.

As far as the Memorandums go, most are based upon my personal experiences while in the military. When I was attending training, I used to volunteer as a Battalion CQ (Charge of Quarters) Runner, usually taking the place of other soldiers who wanted the weekend off. I would read the memorandums the colonel would write to his subordinate commanders and some of them were very funny.
The 8th Arkab is not in garrison but living in a temporary tent city awaiting further orders -Yes, the guys are bored and will find ways to get into trouble. Of course, they knew what the terms were when they were hired.

It is Mohammed Bey's responsibility to attend to any issue that crosses his desk. While a Sergeant major may go to town on your average troops, in a feudal society, even a senior NCO must mind his manners. Of course, this portion is based on more feudal standards, if you remember "Lawrence of Arabia", Tribes, Clans and families are everything and a perceived slight could lead to bloodshed. In a society where eveyrone is armed, you'd be surprised how polite people tend to be.

The 8th is made up of a wide variety of people of diverse origins -Almost all of its infantry assets are from shattered mercenary units retreating from the Clan invasion (Yes, I have to write that part up...) and many of them 1) Just wanted a way out of Rasalhague and 2) Wanted another shot at the Clans.

Yes, Murphy was one of my Army buddies...

MB

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 12:09 am 
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Lacking a documented location for Mohammed As`Zaman Bey's alma mater, I have taken the liberty (I do have a current artistic license) to declare a location.

From what I've read in the Draconis Combine; FM:DC and the latest CBT Companion, the Sun Tzu School is mentioned, described but its location ommitted.

Aerospace and Interstellar Institute: Midway
An Ting University: An Ting
Dieron District Gymnasium: Dieron
Dover Institute for Higher Learning: Ashio
Galedon Military Academy: Matsuida
Pagoda for Luthien Officers: Luthien
Sun Zhang Mechwarrior Academy: New Samarkand
University of Proserpina: Proserpina
Wisdom of the Dragon: Kagoshima
Kensai Kami: Bicester

Sun Tzu School of Combat: ? Go figure...


The Sun Tzu School of Comabat is located on...
Drum roll

System Name: Nashira
Coordinates: 48.77, 35.99
Star Type: K5IV
Position in System: 2
Time to Jump Point: 4.00 days
Population: 2
Percentage and Level of Native Life: Reptiles

Info:

From the IS Atlas:
Quote:
Valuable minerals, chemical wealth, and advanced electronics, metallurgical and hydrocarbon fuel industries-coupled with a pleasant terrestrial climate-made Nashira a valuable world to both the Draconis Combine and the Terran Hegemony. Rather than fighting over it, however, the Camerons and Kuritas reached a compromise in which the planet would be jointly administered, with the planet's exports divided evenly between their governments. This "shared world" status made Nashira a cosmopolitan planet, with diverse Hegemony cities standing side by side with those of the heavily Japanese-influenced Combine.

Of course, the simmering hostilities that tended to flare up between Combine and Hegemony citizens were worse on Nashira than on many other planets. The worst of these incidents occurred during the so-called Hidden War, when outraged Kuritans, furious over the outcome of an epic clash on Solaris VII between SLDF Gunslinger Daniel Allison and a so-called ronin named Kaneda Fujima, rioted in the capital of Logan City. The Hegemony city, forced to call in troops to quell the violence, requested the aid of both SLDF and DCMS troops on world, as was protocol during such disturbances. Unfortunately, in a few instances the troops found themselves drawn into the conflict, with SLDF units firing upon Combine troops and vice versa. More than two thousand lives were lost in the three bloody days of the Logan Riots, a black stain on the honor of both states.

After the fall of the Star League, Nashira became a Combine holding, which made use of the local industries and valuable minerals to strengthen its military machine and its economic might. The Combine launched an extensive campaign to transform the planet into a fully Japanese culture, including the demolition, renovation and renaming of many Hegemony cities and towns. Residents who clung to non-Japanese cultures and ideologies were persecuted and segregated, but true atrocities were rare. For this reason, Nashira remains a diverse world.

Logan City, on the northern continent of Katiasha, is still the planetary capital, with a population of almost five million. Ogawa, a city still thick with Combine influence, lies fifty kilometers south of Logan City and is the planet's major spaceport as well as home to a third of the planetary defense forces. On Nashira's southern continent of Copenwald are found the majority of the planet's mining and manufacturing industries, including DeValt Industries, a minor manufacturer of MinerMechs and ConstructionMechs, based in the city of New Anaheim.
And the location of the Sun Tzu School of Combat in my story line.
The System would have DC military facilities as well as a SLDF base -Which would be converted to the academy due to the required infrastructure for a combined arms school. The system was never seriously contested after the fall of the Star League so the conditions there are rather dull... Perfect for a major school. The environmental conditions match my story line perfectly as does the demographics -Enough diversity to make the presence of non-Japanese students routine. The location is also in close proximity to the Azami Confederation worlds.

This list of Azami Confederation worlds and possible Azami enclaves:
From some research, these are Azami worlds:

Arkab (DC)
Albalii (DC)
Algedi (DC)
Al Hillah (FRR)
Al Na'ir (DC)
Dabih (DC)
Deneb Algedi
Camlann (DC/GB)
Markab (FS)
Tukayyid (FRR)

Possible:
Al Jubaylah (FWL)
Sadalbari (DC)

This expands my possibilities concerning the Azami sect.

MB

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[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 5:16 pm 
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Nice MB, looks like everything is falling into place nicely, keep up the writing.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:54 am 
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Loki
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Very good job dude.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 9:57 pm 
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Somebody requested a list of my fanfic so they could get caught up -I should have thought of this earlier...

Young Mohammed stories:

Travels With Uncle Ahmed

Travels With Uncle Ahmed 2

Travels With Uncle Ahmed 3

Travels With Uncle Ahmed -The Road to Graduation

8th Arkab Legion:

Footnote

Footnote 2, The 8th Arkab Legion on Luthien

Forging the Sword

Related short story:

…The Compassionate, the Merciful…

I hope this helps.

MB

_________________
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:38 am 
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Graduation blues...
Yes, young Mohammed Bey is not very happy. When he's not happy he immerses himself in his work and/or studies until he recovers. There are many more fish in the sea but our hero isn't ready yet. Yes, there are young ladies ready to catch him on the rebound...

The young man is beginning to realize how far he could go without crossing the line -He makes others dance to his tune because he can. Anyone who doesn't like his terms knows which way to find the door.

Forging on:

Pardon the brief installment -My GM's schedule makes it difficult to move the story forward so I'm looking for a point to cut away so I could work on other stories. Yes, we'll be back.

MB

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 12:56 am 
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In an effort to keep my posts from interrupting the story, I'll respond here to some of your comments.

It doesn't take Sam Spade to figure out what city New Anaheim is based on. As a secluded old Terran Hegemony city, New Anaheim escaped most of the Kuritafication experienced by many other areas drawn into the Combine.
Quote:
Somebody's been watching too much Noir :lol:
Hey, I've been Noir for years...
Quote:
They wouldn't happen to have bunny ears in stock, would they?
That's a uniform item.
Quote:
Oh.....My......Lord.
Priceless.:D
Quote:
What I want to know is just how big did she go? :wink:
That would be classified information released to only those with the need to know.



You will just have to wait until the next installment, won't you? So much has happened and the cadets have only been there for half a day. 8)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 3:44 am 
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Loki
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ROFLMAO

That is just TOOOOOO funny!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 5:40 am 
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I am glad you are entertained. :)

I was considering including personal artwork and making a cartoon version but I don't have the time although I have often wanted to do a manga parody and the Travels setting would be perfect.

MB, I gave up a career in porn movies for this?

_________________
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 4:58 pm 
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Comments on Travels with Uncle Ahmed, the Road to Graduation:

I want to thank Lorenz for the correction of my Italian -I sing it (Basso-Bariton) but I had to rely on a libretto for my spelling (no excuse, I should have compared it with an Italian source).
Mohammed Bey is a baritone, which makes it a little difficult as most of the popular operatic songs are written for tenors (Momtaz is the tenor of the group). I shall certainly be more cautious when Mohammed sings Là ci darem la mano from Mozart's Don Giovanni.

The Believe it or Else Museum was in Waikiki (That's in Hawaii, for you people in Rio Linda) and I was a frequent visitor as a socially disturbed and disconnected teen. My favorite portion of the exibit included the preserved skull belonging to Peter Kürten, the "Vampire of Düsseldorf", a particularly sadistic serial killer -The skull was sawn in half and hinged in the back; a Spanish Inquisition era rack with a finely detailed wax mannequin with some of its skin stripped away; several Adolf Hitler items, including his peaked cap, table settings and paintings.
Arne was an interesting man -He was supposedly Norwegian but the Krupp Factory photo indicated that he may have been a member of the Gestapo... Believe it ot Else!
Arne died of a heart attack in Mexico and the museum closed, a game arcade is where it once stood *sigh*.

A silly note...

When I first put the MW2 character, Mohammed Bey together I originally modelled him after Chef from South Park:

Col. Volberg: Troops, today Sergeant Mohammed As`Zaman Bey shall be giving a class on maintaining a Star League battlemech. Please pay the utmost attention and give him any assistance he may require.

Mohammed Bey: Thank you Colonel. (The Colonel goes to his office, Mohammed Bey turns to face the class) Star League battlemechs are a rarity and their components are sometimes fragile and difficult to replace. (Thrumming bass line starts to play) Yo gots to hold yo mech like it was yo lover, squeeze and please her day and night... (Grabs a gease gun and breaks into song*: )
Keep it greasy
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy


Ali:
Roll it over 'n
Grease it down
I'll drive you through
The heart of town


Mohammed Bey:

Keep it greasy
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy

Ali, Mechwarriors:
Roll it over 'n
Grease it down
I'll drive you through
The heart of town
(The mechwarriors join the choreography on the mechbay scaffolding)

Mohammed Bey:
Your mech don't need
No fancy grease
To get yoself
Some mech release
Any kind
Of lube'll do
Maybe from another
Part of you
Lube from the north
Lube from the south
Take a little slobber
From the side of
Your mouth
From your mouth!

Ali:
Roll it over
Grease it down
Here come that crazy
Screamin' sound...
(Col Valborg peeks through the door, his eyes go wide)
Mechwarriors:
Yaaah ahhhh haaa haaaa!

Col Valborg: What the heck's going on here?

--------------------

You had to be there... 8)

*With apologies to Frank Zappa (Peace be upon him!)

MB, Drivin' you through the heart of town since 1971...

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


Last edited by Mohammed As `Zaman Bey on Sun Mar 27, 2005 7:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 5:20 pm 
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Private First Class
Private First Class

Joined: Tue Dec 28, 2004 6:00 pm
Posts: 13
Location: Italia
Glad to have helped! :D

The idea of having military people sing operas in the CBT setting is really original and really good. And the writing is excellent, I enjoy reading it a lot.

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Lorenz

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2005 12:34 am 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
Quote:
Whats the time date location stamp for the beginning of the last entry?
In the last two entries, I purposely left out the date/time/location headings in order to reflect a more lax, vacation feeling to the progess of the narrative- In school and under a scheduled environment, the cadets would be very time conscious.
In the less constrained vacation environment, time passage is far more subtle and I used other indicators. Okay, so it didn't work as well as I thought it would. Perhaps I'll figure out something on the final draft of the completed stories.

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2005 1:15 am 
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Colonel
Colonel

Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:20 pm
Posts: 430
Good writing technique, except that by now its become a standard with the series and as it is missing, the entry looks half naked.

How about a date and location only? No,.... even that sounds / seems wrong...

Just a location?

_________________
Former Sen. Auditor Capellan Tax Office
Confederation Audit Department (CAD)

Wu zuizhe bu yong pa!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2005 1:57 am 
Offline
Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
Quote:
Good writing technique, except that by now its become a standard with the series and as it is missing, the entry looks half naked.

How about a date and location only? No,.... even that sounds / seems wrong...

Just a location?
Yes, I know, now readers expect to see the date/time stamp. That underscores the fact that I have to work more on being less subtle indicating time passage/compression in the story instead of spelling it out. We shall see...

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2005 4:10 am 
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Colonel
Colonel

Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:20 pm
Posts: 430
Time / Date Stamp that simply lists

"On Vacation"

It seems to work...

_________________
Former Sen. Auditor Capellan Tax Office
Confederation Audit Department (CAD)

Wu zuizhe bu yong pa!


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 Post subject: Travels with...
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2005 4:16 am 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
Quote:
I imaging this will wait until after memorial day but is there anything new for the story coming up?
I got caught up in making spreadsheets for Support Vehicles... I'll be adding the latest episode this morning (approx 1400 Zulu time).

I also had to choreograph the combat scenes and had to clear my ongoing projects off the pool table. 8)

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 11:55 am 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
This last installment was challenging as I had nothing written as of Wednesday -My arthitis flared up and I was on crutches since Monday with my only relief being doses of Celebrex. Fortunately my heart did not stop and my head didn't explode so I managed to write the complete installment early Friday morning, having all week to work it out in my head.

Okay, it isn't a completely happy story -that's the way life is. Much of the story is based upon personal experiences -Perhaps in the rewrite I'll include the friends I've lost through traffic accidents, drug abuse and plain old teen stupidity. In the final manuscript, I will go there because I've been there and done that and have no regrets about living on the edge. It wasn't until I joined the Army (US) that I found out that playing Russian Roulette was NOT a common teen game. I only played twice -The second time was after almost getting killed by a Samoan football player after I stopped him from slapping his girlfriend around during a graduation party. I was suicidally depressed for months, which is something Mohammed Bey would not be prone to. Needless to say, I survived my teen years but barely.

I have already begun Mohammed Bey's entrance into the Reserves as well as his first missions. His transition from student to soldier to commander is a gradual one and hopefully, despite my writing the present story before the earlier tales, everything will mesh properly.

Each new story is an experiment for me -I try different techniques to see how they work and in the "Travels" series you could see the attempts to alter the style and flow of the narrative in order to get the best effect. I don't mind trial and error, as long as I avoid the elements of stories that I don't like, such as overused cliches and plot twists -On the whole, most people lead uncomplicated lives and Mohammed Bey is no different, despite juggling his noble status as well as his cultural differences with the rest of the universe.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read my stories.

Mohammed

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 7:41 am 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
In the final installment of "Travels with Uncle Ahmed" I tried to tie up a few loose ends in order to move on to the next phase in Mohammed Bey's career -The military.

I started typing on Tuesday afternoon and before I knew it, I had over a dozen pages. I couldn't fit it all into one post on the CBT site so I had to break into 2 parts: Part 1 with the Grand Ball and Part 2 with the graduation and cleanup...

I didn't want to start a new thread just to end the series so please pardon me if I dumped what could have been two complete episodes on your laps. Enjoy the story -There will be more.

I do plan to compile all the stories and convert them to pdf format. Until then, I've already begun the next series and shall be posting them within a week.

Once again, thank you for your comments, critiques, suggestions and taking the time to enjoy my work.

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 12:45 am 
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Loki
Loki

Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2001 8:00 pm
Posts: 11444
Location: Minnesnowta
I will happily take the pdf file when you get it and post it on P.R.I. if you don't mind. :-)

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Medron Pryde - The Great and Terrible :blah:
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"I'm gonna Tea Party like its 1776." - Medron Pryde
Who is John Galt?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:09 am 
Offline
Colonel
Colonel

Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:20 pm
Posts: 430
Quote:
In the final installment of "Travels with Uncle Ahmed" I tried to tie up a few loose ends in order to move on to the next phase in Mohammed Bey's career -The military.

I started typing on Tuesday afternoon and before I knew it, I had over a dozen pages. I couldn't fit it all into one post on the CBT site so I had to break into 2 parts: Part 1 with the Grand Ball and Part 2 with the graduation and cleanup...

I didn't want to start a new thread just to end the series so please pardon me if I dumped what could have been two complete episodes on your laps. Enjoy the story -There will be more.

I do plan to compile all the stories and convert them to pdf format. Until then, I've already begun the next series and shall be posting them within a week.

Once again, thank you for your comments, critiques, suggestions and taking the time to enjoy my work.

MB
Looking forward to the PDF - I'm a hardcore fan.

_________________
Former Sen. Auditor Capellan Tax Office
Confederation Audit Department (CAD)

Wu zuizhe bu yong pa!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:15 am 
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Colonel
Colonel

Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:20 pm
Posts: 430
Also looking forward resolution to the Cliffhanger on Forging the Sword

_________________
Former Sen. Auditor Capellan Tax Office
Confederation Audit Department (CAD)

Wu zuizhe bu yong pa!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 7:56 am 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
To all those who have been following my latest series, "There I Was"

I have large portion of the story outlined, most of the fighting (yes, fighting!) played out and the characters fleshed out. I then sat down to plot out Mohammed Bey's journey from Dabih to his destination -six months, not counting rest and restocking stops! I had to sit back and make a decision -do I just allow the time to flash by and drop him off at his destination or do I "play out" the more interesting stops?
Just teleporting him to the destination and saying six months has passed is possible -I could fill in the blanks with the final rewrite.
Filling in the blanks now would stretch the tale longer and force me to do a little more homework but I believe you all would appreciate the final product -I just have to ask you to bear with a week or two delay in my next insallment as I have broken out my books (Dropships and Jumpships, AT2(r) and others) in order to make sure I do it right. I would also like to thank Vai Dom for being one of my primary sources for BT universe information.

I am also taking the time to add more background information to the characters, those already indtroduced as well as those who have already appeared.

Thank you for your comments and your support,

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 11:06 pm 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
There I Was...

Most of you should recognize some of the scenes from the last installment -it was the result of a suggestion made over a year ago about writing a "The 13th Mechwarrior" scenario. I didn't want to "borrow" too much from the film so I hit up my library for source material and dug out Beowulf, The Edda and my Viking/Skaldic/Rune reference books.

I didn't want to go into too much detail of spending months traveling under mostly zero-gravity conditions -Mohammed and Tanaka are used to it, Ali and Shakira are not but they eventually grow accustomed to the conditions. Once the main characters are introduced, I'll compress the time a little.

As always, thank you for your comments and suggestions,

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 8:31 pm 
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C.O., 1st Kilted
C.O., 1st Kilted

Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2001 8:00 pm
Posts: 1501
Location: Minneapolis
:lol: Somebody's memorized the fluff for the Savannah Master.


Teemo

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"Three Shall be the Number of The Counting; And the Number of The Counting Shall be Three "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 3:57 am 
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Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
There I Was...
For those who have difficulty with French, the complete poem by Arthur Rimbaud (1854-1891):


I.

No one's serious at seventeen.
--On beautiful nights when beer and lemonade
And loud, blinding cafés are the last thing you need
--You stroll beneath green lindens on the promenade.

Lindens smell fine on fine June nights!
Sometimes the air is so sweet that you close your eyes;
The wind brings sounds--the town is near--
And carries scents of vineyards and beer. . .

II.

--Over there, framed by a branch
You can see a little patch of dark blue
Stung by a sinister star that fades
With faint quiverings, so small and white. . .

June nights! Seventeen!--Drink it in.
Sap is champagne, it goes to your head. . .
The mind wanders, you feel a kiss
On your lips, quivering like a living thing. . .

III.

The wild heart Crusoes through a thousand novels
--And when a young girl walks alluringly
Through a streetlamp's pale light, beneath the ominous shadow
Of her father's starched collar. . .

Because as she passes by, boot heels tapping,
She turns on a dime, eyes wide,
Finding you too sweet to resist. . .
--And cavatinas die on your lips.

IV.

You're in love. Off the market till August.
You're in love.--Your sonnets make Her laugh.
Your friends are gone, you're bad news.
--Then, one night, your beloved, writes. . .!

That night. . .you return to the blinding cafés;
You order beer or lemonade. . .
--No one's serious at seventeen
When lindens line the promenade.


Rimbaud has always been a favorite of mine -his poetry uses vivid imagery and I often compare his works to those of Jim Morrisson.

For Vai Dom:

The Warhammer slipped and fell into the pond on turn 1 and wasn't able to exit the water -instead he fought where he stood.
I played out the scenario using MegaMek:
This was unexpected:
Code:
Round 1:
Movement Phase
-------------------

Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) must make a piloting skill check while moving in hex 1003 
(running & turning on pavement).
Needs 6 [5 (Base piloting skill) + 1 (running & turning on pavement)], rolls 5 : falls.
Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) falls 0 level(s) into hex 1003   
 Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) falls on its left side, suffering 7 damage.
        Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) takes 5 damage to RT. 17 Armor remaining
        Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) takes 2 damage to LT. 20 Armor remaining
Pilot of Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) "Zamoyski" must roll 6 to avoid damage; rolls 6 : succeeds.
   Skids into hex 0904.
   Skids into hex 0804. (Note: This is a water hex)
    Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) suffers 8 damage from the skid.
        Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) takes 5 damage to RA. 17 Armor remaining
        Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) takes 3 damage to LT. 17 Armor remaining
      Skid ends.

Round 4:
Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) must make 1 piloting skill roll(s) (20+ damage).
The base target is 6 [5 (Base piloting skill) + 1 (20+ damage)].
    Roll #1, (20+ damage); needs 6, rolls 4 :  falls.
    Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) falls on its right side, suffering 3 damage.
        Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) takes 3 damage to RT. Armor destroyed, 
<<<Warhammer WHM-6D RT BREACHED>>> <<<Warhammer WHM-6D CT BREACHED>>>
*** Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) DESTROYED by hull breach! ***

Pilot of Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) "Zamoyski" must roll 6 to avoid damage; rolls 4 : fails.
        Pilot of Warhammer WHM-6D (Pirates1) "Zamoyski" takes 1 damage.
Except for missing armor and a waterlogged torso, the WH is intact. Talk about salvage!

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 6:52 am 
Offline
Commanding General
Commanding General

Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2003 10:05 pm
Posts: 1471
Location: Kingdom of Hawaii
Quote:
Oh my! Poor Mohammed! They...got...him...drunk! I feel sorry for him in the mooorning! So will Ali and Shakira be allowed to have a deeper relationship? I know Mohammed is very fair but I am not sure about the traditions of his tribe. I forsee problems with the developing relationship between him and Kaptan Andersen. And what will become of little Nikki I have a feeling that her role is far from over. Very interresting. I wish I could write half as well as you do.
Yes, our hero gets caught up in the post-battle, post-execution celebrations...

The spoiler is in Forging the Sword:
http://www.heavymetalpro.com/forums/vie ... hp?t=10807

Ali and Shakira are married in 3052 and have children (Okay, now you can breath easy).

The relationship with Kapten Anderssen is would have been complex if either of them took the time to think about it. Both had numerous reasons not to get involved and you will find out more if you stay tuned...

Nikki is one of many orphans/discarded children of the frontier. Mohammed considers the chance meeting as a gift and takes the child in. He also discovers that a single, full-time soldier has his hands full just keeping his own affairs (ahem) in order.
Quote:
you realy should try to get this published I just spent two hours reading this :D . absoutly wonderfull
I'm very glad you liked it -I am compiling my writings but I probably won't get noticed until my timeline gets caught up... Watch this thread/forum for any announcements.

Thanks for the support!

MB

_________________
[i]And Allah turned back the unbelievers in their rage; they did not obtain any advantage, and Allah sufficed the believers in fighting; and Allah is Strong, Mighty.[/i] from The Koran, 33rd Sura- The Clans


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